Yo! Welcome to Earf

Posted: May 31, 2013 in Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , ,

SC20130531-150602

The verdict is in after a huge weekend box office reality check AND a lesson Hollywood never seems to learn:

Appealing to 12% of the population of which only .002% enjoys science fiction movies without Sam Jackson or Morgan Freeman spells “D.I.S.A.S.T.E.R.”

Secondly, Will Smith’s kids can’t act for shit. They belong in Burger King commercials, preferably not speaking.

1108146 - After Earth

“daddy, I smell white people…”

In true to form total fickleness, Hollywood pulls the plug on their once beloved CGI crap fest After Earth after watching it deservedly bomb on its debut weekend. “Apter Earf” features an arrogant younger Will Smith played by his corn-rolled son from the future. The Wall Street Journal  even calls this version of Muddy Earth as “the worst movie ever made.” We don’t have to see the movie to agree. The hype created by false critics trying to promote the garbage gave it away weeks before it premiered. Why not cast Delroy “Leroy” Lindo in the shit and watch/listen to him spit/sputter/pause on forgotten lines/ act all uppity — then let a big CGI lizard eat him.  (Footnote, Delroy Lindo has to be tied with Ving Rhames as the dumbest actor in Hollywood now that Bernie Mac and Michael Clark Duncan are dead. Meaning— these tokens are STOOOPID…)

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

President Bebo, leader of the universe.

When Hollywood uses stupid actors in intelligence based movies and appeal to the absolute dumbest ticket holder, they assume that the low brow consumers out there actually watch high brow entertainment. In essence Hollywood is rubbing its politics in our faces, telling us “this is what the world should look like, even if we have to make-believe.” Hence they elect empty suits and idiots into the White House and as their Congressional representatives to create their mental Utopia. Ever notice that movies more closely associated with actual history and current events are usually better than the straight out liberal fantasy world of equal opportunity socialism? Hollywood always has to sprinkle some out of place character into the story line in hopes one random minority may fork over some Obama bucks.

C’mon M. Night Shyamalan!~ Bakkka Lakka Dirka’ Dirka’~Don’t tell us you have let Hollywood completely brainwash you into thinking that if you appealed to the smallest movie audience group on the planet (intellectual black folks) that you would get your reported  $130 million back you spent rolling this dog shit together. Did you think if you sprinkled in some Al Gore inconvenient and incontinent global warming into the story you would make a big splash with the die hard Sci-Fi crowd? Just because J.J. Abrams has expanded the idiot market to include every shit-for-brains on the planet, you thought you could narrow it? This movie sucking is as plain as the big bulbous nose on J.J. Abrams money grubbin’ face. We always thought you were smarter than that and gave you a second chance after “The Last Fart Bender.” What happened this time? Could Will Smith and Jeff Goldblum save the Earth like they did in Independence Day with a bootleg copy of Windows 95?

will_earf

If we wanted to see monkeys flying around, we’d go watch the Wizard of Oz. Got it yet?

flying-monkeys

Advertisements
Comments
  1. I actually enjoyed the movie

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s