You sank my Battlesh*t!!!

Posted: April 16, 2012 in Uncategorized
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Hollywood’s version of the elite US fighting force.

Hasbro brought us Transformers. Three of them so far, with no end in sight.  How many cities must be destroyed to get rid of one annoying jew midget and his hot slut girlfriend? Now another board game comes to the big screen, complete with miscast characters and strange creatures from another world with super technology. As usual they only want our planet’s resources at full matinee price. Unfortunately, they have a secret weakness that only Will Smith and Jeff Goldblum are capable of figuring out.

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Load bangs, a fully integrated US military complete with same shower barracks,  an openly gay Skipper and perhaps some CGI strategically placed in Hong Kong and Brazilian markets, AND VOILA’ you have yourself a summer blockbuster.

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And yes, there will be a “Stretch Armstrong” movie coming to theaters in 2014. And yes, that ugly kid with the weird face from Shark Boy/Twilight will be playing the leading role. Yes, it is production. (Source: IMBD)

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This is what happens when Hollywood quickly runs out of original ideas, quality talent and the ability to form human language. Just a bunch of flying around crap and noise, draped symbolically over fake American patriotism. Plus the actors get uglier and uglier.

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We are waiting with bated breath for the classic  fully restored Tic-Tac-Toe movie starring Li’l Bow Wow, David Spade and Vin Diesel in “XXX-/OOO: Dumber than Joe Dirt.”

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