Who’s got the space nuts out here?
Recently polished Hollywood bi-actors and actresses are a mishmash of strung out, underpaid genderless nobodys, including the two leads of the French adaption of Valerian and the City of a Thousand Transgenders. We don’t know who these two pasty face characters are, nor do we care to find out. You just can’t tell either of them apart, both are as pale and gangly as AIDS patients and equally talentless. One is a bi-sexual and the other a peter-puffer. Wow.
Critics give the indie Sci-Fi flick 2 and 1/2 stars, out of sympathy for the horrible acting. The special effects are very good by today’s standards, even beating out the lametard Galaxy of the Guardians. Plus they both have slimy shapeshifting space bitches for the jerri-curl row. However the two fruitcakes starring in this fantasy are miserable little fairies barely able to carry themselves. The half-male character doesn’t have the testicular fortitude to lift a toilet seat. He tries to deepen his 11-year old voice as if he’s some sort of rougue Space Playboy badass he ain’t. The story revolves around this “breakthrough actor” trying to get his girlfriend to strap it on and plow his Uranium poppy field.
Eeeerp.
Remember, this comic book adaptation is from French fag Luc Besson who can’t acknowledge America put men on the moon. Instead in his socialist fantasy world (and to sell to his overseas communist masters), it is China and the European Union who builds the first space station and successfully explores outerspace. Which obviously never did and never will happen from a country run by murderers and theives. And in China and France, the government promotes a genderless society, like the 10,000 alien species in this movie.
China saves the universe through forced abortion and euthanasia again!
Hollywood Walk of Shame 