The National Weather Service is looking for a few good men. Be a force of nature.
Celebrated atheist Darren Aronofsky turns the man made global warming panic into something biblical- minus any mention of the word “GOD” in the entire 138 minute running time. This movie has every single run into the ground cliche’ from 2001 thrown at us: Anthony Hopkins as the bland old sage whispering words of wisdom that have no meaning. Grisly Ray Winston growling like the same British mobster he plays in every single movie. The fruit cake kid from California who can’t act if his life depended on it. And we have poor ol’ Russell Crowe trying to squeeze some muscle from his fat gut, collapsing on his whispered script lines we’ve heard repeated since 2001. Back to Ray Winston for a second. How many out of place Cockney’d accents does a movie need to make it totally suck? They couldn’t get one voice coach on the set and get these fuckers to sound like they all lived in the same century? Topped off with Logan Lerman speaking in his Valley Girl dialect? No wonder God wanted to flush this turd. What, no Wanda Sykes to spruce up the ancient regional language? Noah surely brought monkeys with him on the ark.
Noah 2014 is as bad as his Robin Hood Men in Depends (2010). Marketed to the Pope and bible thumpers alike, while at the same time promoted as an “environmental disaster movie.” Yes. It is a disaster. Not because of the story. Not because of the Biblical setting. Not because some Godless communist atheist Jew directed it. This movie is bad because of the actors. They suck. There isn’t one actor/actress in this garbage that doesn’t sound and talk just like they did in the previous shit they were in. They all have lost their acting chops. The have no substance. Perhaps that was intentional for the Hollywood socialists who want to dumb down The Greatest Story Ever Told.
Hollywood Walk of Shame 