Star Trek 2 Into Rehash (2013) spoilers

Posted: December 10, 2012 in Uncategorized
Tags: ,

Cue the Celtic dirge within the slow motion movie trailer. And check out Abrams’ original movie poster idea…

Same shit. Seen it. Done it. Heard it. Hollywood has lost its imagination. The parasites steal from the innovators and pass off their garbage as original. Hence all the reboots and re-telling of every story ever told. It’s all about making a quit buck, not making a lasting impression.

Spoiler number 1: Captain (Admiral) Pike is killed during a terrorist strike.

J.J. Abrams vision of Star Trek Rebooted akins to his multicultural mishmash on the Lost island, designed to appeal to “everybody.” And it falls flat on its liberal Utopian face. Be prepared for meaningless character twists in the even more liberal Star Trek universe. Thank God we won’t have to listen to Bruce Greenwood’s monotone drone throughout the movie before we are put to sleep.

Spoiler number 2: Liberals will cheer! Cumberbatch plays a homegrown terrorist: the thawed superhuman called “Khan,” now with carry some Gary Mitchell syndrome.

Fans of the old Star Trek remember the omnipotent bad guy Lt. Commander Gary Mitchell. In Abrams’ altered universe, a similar Fleet officer code named “John Harrison” has the same fate of the Gary Mitchell character in the “Where No Man Has Gone Before” episode. English actor Benedict Cumberbatch plays the iconic ‘man turned into an A-hole god.’

John Harrison aka Khan is not an original Abram’s character, but yet another stolen idea from the original series, with hints of other creators’ brilliance. Way to go Jeffery Jacob Jehoshaphat; you’ve stolen another person’s creativity and claimed it as your own.

Benedict Cumberbatch in "Star Trek Into Darkness"

 khanberbatch-watermarked-gif_220243

Spoiler number 3: Spock almost dies; jungle fever saves him.

Spock has a near death experience, a la’ the original Star Trek 2 Wrath of Khan, but following the leaked Into Darkness storyline, the John Harrison character has the ability “to heal.” Viewers of the 9 minute IMAX  prologue describe how the Cumberbatch character “heals” a kid. Logic would dictate that the bad guy would at the end of the movie, give Spock some of his godly GENESIS by using his powers one last time.

Love is in the air: Spock and Uhura share a kiss in the new Star Trek Into Darkness movie, but can she separate her feelings of love from her mission?

Plenty of intergalactic jizzle in this Fa-Sizzle.

Spoiler number 4: The Enterprise is scuttled after crash landing but still intact to fight.

Star Fleet Command has always been threatened with annihilation throughout the series. They get their brinkmanship again and the futuristic San Fransicko, home base for the Federation, gets a big nuke dropped on it- in the form of an exploding star fleet vessel in the bay. Just watch the trailer. A little fake 9/11 similarities to muster up the craven little George Bush in us all.  “Bring it on.”

Star Trek 1

Synopsis:

Predictable, below the bar, bland and unimaginative. Stolen story lines and characters hammered into liberal 21th Century molds. Will be rooting for the Klingons in the flick. Abrams and his Hollywood hedgefund managers didn’t care how bad the movie wound up being, as long as every race and nationality ventured to buy a movie ticket on opening weekend.

We give this Star Trek 2 a thumbs down.

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