Authority Figure Negro: the Avengers’ blaxploitation

Posted: May 10, 2012 in Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

Sam Jackson as Nick Fury???

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Post-script review after viewing the Avengers movie this week.

Why does the Avengers fail? Because Chris Evans is too short and light framed to play even a handicapped Captain America? Because Robert Downey is a drug addict? No, all the inconsistencies of the much anticipated Avengers movie can be ignored but one: a crack head cast in a leading role.

Samuel Jackson is as illiterate sounding as he ever has been, incapable of forming the syllables of the technical dialogue fed to him by script writers vying for the approval of Hollywood c*cksuckers pretending to have a black audience. Secondly, Nick Fury has never been black in the Marvel universe. Listening to Jackson as Director of S.H.I.T.F.I.E.L.D in the opening scenes of this summer’s blockbuster makes you almost want to get up and walk out.  

[SPOILER ALERT] The movie starts out slow as the audience is to be convinced that the Hollywood version of Nick Fury is capable of extracting subatomic particles from the Tesseract object without bitch-slappin’ a bitch. The dialogue is infantile and retarded as Jackson stumbles through his lines, with his typical untrained ghetto lisp and spits over the harder consonants of the techno-speak.  

“ppppttt….shit….bitch…I have three things to say to you Loki: Nine-Nine-Nine…shit…bitch…goddamn…shit…”

What the hell is the matter Hollywood? Even Joss Whedon is too afraid to make this spoon fed token actor read his goddamn lines like he knows what he’s talking about? You’re f***ing pathetic. This is as awful as it gets. We don’t expect classically trained Shakespearean actors to be in a Marvel movie; however we do expect the actors to speak intelligently enough to pass as something more professional than a Spike Lee Joint.  LEARN HOW TO TALK PROPER ENGLISH, PLEASE!

It would have been just as good to have Deebo as leader of Earth’s Ultimate Heroes.

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The rain in Spain falls mainly on the plain, Mutha F***ah!

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President of the Universe (The Fifth Element)

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a third grade education leads to chokin' down a space bitch.
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