I know why the caged Zombie sings.
Fresh off the director’s cut of Justice League, Zack Snyder releases zombie shitfest Army of the Dead . Just another rag tag team of cigar smoking dykes, shifty-eyed Latinos, pumped up negroes who can’t act, conscientious half-breeds with checkered pasts, effeminate white men who get offed right of the bat; and white alpha-female type criminals (who look like the Poor Man’s Amber Heard). In other words, the way America should look according to Hollywood.
The plot : to extract the money from Las Vegas casino vaults after the zombie apocalypses. The Undead in this version like to pose with their mouths open, arms down to the side, flaunting their physique, and snarling for the cameras like the idiots on Wrestlemania. Meanwhile our heroes quip smart ass one-liners back and forth and drop random F-bombs. So fucking original. So fucking entertaining. So fucking liberal. But then again, it stars ex WWE Wrestler Dave Bautista and dead Ms. America contestants.
Even the zzzombies have love interests and hierarchy. Snyder’s zombies pick and choose which victim they’ll rip apart (after parading them around and taunting them), and those who they’ll bite and turn (like vampires). These Undead also get pregnant with cute little zombie embryos and weep for each other getting euthanized. Ridiculousness. Nary a single original thought.
Bet somebody’s gonna blow themselves up after they get bitten.
You know in their down time when they’re not out looking for brains to chomp on, zombies ruminate about their past lives and plan their future societies. Someday soon, China will pay Hollywood to make a movie about zombies settling down behind a white picket fence, resenting their racist neighbors, and fighting climate change with the Weeknd.
Hollywood Walk of Shame 