GI Joe 2: Regurgitation

Posted: June 1, 2013 in Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , ,

Rock In G I Joe Retaliation

The Rock’s best movie to date.

Pros: This is not a bad action movie. The best part about it is that Channing Tatum is killed off in the first 20 minutes. This GI Joe has a better script, better acting, less CGI and more real life action. The PG-13 target audience are 12-year old boys which means it has to deliver a lot of Kick Ass without the cussing but plenty of implied violence. Bad guys are blown up, beat up, shot and stabbed.

Cons: Hollywood has to put the ‘hood element into The Rock’s character, ostensibly now he’s black and from the Washington DC ghettos; playing a single Merc with a heart and two young daughters. In other words the back story of our heroes is cookie cutter for more appeal than substance. But it works. A smart movie, this ain’t. A fun movie it is.

But the worst casting choice is the embarrassing ghetto babble and stuttering of some worthless rapper named Robert Fitzgerald Diggs, or RZA for the 3rd grade drop outs.  Diggs plays of all things, the “Blind Master,” the supposed leader of the Ninja wing of the GI Joes. Imagine the audacity. Imagine the idiocy. Imagine how ludicrous. He doesn’t even act BLIND but he must be because he can barely read the lines they gave him. This is as bad as Deebo being cast as Supreme Leader of the Galaxy. Somebody has to say it: uneducated thugs don’t belong in movies playing intelligent characters, especially when they cannot talk, unless the whole point is to make us listen to shit.

Spit that shit, Arrah Zee Ay.

Listening to some random asswipe who can’t even form the English language in his brain attempt to be the ‘wise old Japanese oracle’ takes away 2 stars.  We give one Star back for offing off Channing Tatum.

Typical blind Japanese ninja master, courtesy Hollywood.

Trivia: The Daily News reports that his family is allegedly the largest extended family living in New York City.

Answer: RZA, because he has probably over 10,000 illegitimate kids on welfare roaming the streets.

His girlfriends who have abortions: Crime Stoppers.

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