Fresh Prince VS. Pampered Rapper, i.e. Will Smith versus Common

Will Smith is a child actor turned producer, director, rapper and multi-million dollar box office draw. We personally don’t like many of the movies and characters he has done, however the man is capable of acting and being entertaining. He is even capable of being believable in his roles. When Will Smith is invited to the Whitehouse, no one pays attention. He’s a good guy all around, an articulate performer and has avoided controversy his entire career. Smith has starred in a few stinkers, but for the most part his reputation comes out unscathed.

Will Smith, the King of purple Kool-Aid

Hollywood-groomed “Common” formerly know as “Common Sense” (aka Ronnie Lynn, Jr.) debuted as the cop-killing lyrist, or “poet” as fans refer to him as, and has slowly been edged into supporting roles in several blockbusters. Apparently the names Special Ed and Too Short Bus had been taken. He can be seen butchering his lines in Terminator Salvation, Street Kings and Wanted. Born Lonnie Rashid Lynn, Jr. he attended Florida A&M on a scholarship, but apparently never was forced to speak proper English to achieve his degree. Source: Wikipedia.

Apparently this Common fellow is capable of grammar and prose, but he chooses to appeal to the crack addicted dredges of society by speaking like an idiot. That is his schtick. Common is the poster boy for illiteracy. He provides Ebonics for his fans’ consumption. He doesn’t even have to try; his mouth doesn’t even have to form words. He has been handed roles that require a token but fresh-faced black guy, to get achieve that precious mass appeal the J.J. Abrams and Josh Whedon’s of the world strive for. Their collective soulless goals are to please who they think is everyone, but in the end they turn their uninspired work into dogshit. Just like Common’s form of urban gutterspeak and choreographed trash talk. By the way, where did those two previously mentioned guys go to directing school? If you lived near arrogant and irrelevant people who resembled those in Buffy the Vampire Slayer or FireFly, you would be beating their asses everyday. Did Josh Whedon just hang out with assholes his entire life? Where does his character inspiration come from? Did J.J. Abrams go to school with every single nationality of the human species on the planet?

The only thing missing from a JJ Abrams movie is a Neanderthal and hybrid New Guinea man, or country cowflop Neal McCoy.

Common was recently invited to the Whitehouse, according to Rolling Stone magazine, to spread his message of anti-interracial marriage, shooting cops and burning George W. Bush. From Yo! MTV Raps to Pennsylvania Avenue, baby! Nowadays you just have to record one rap song about freeing a convicted cop killer and you’re on the Hollywood A List.

Question: Who would consider an illiterate gutter rat to be a “poet?”

Answer: Hollywood and the Obama administration.

Common performs Othello and shit for reals.

Taking her cues from a malignant Hollywood mindset, the Firssss (as he pronounces it) Lady Michelle Obama welcomed this idiot to read his Hip-Hop shit to her guests. Now with the Whitehouse’s backing, we can expect to see more of this talentless racist mumbling through his lines in the movies.

Overheard casting call: “OK then! He is our guy and speaks our language. He can put two sentences together on how he hates George Bush. And he’s clean cut. Isn’t he wonderful??!!!!”

“Let’s give him top billing. “

Yeah, we know Common, chillin’ with the prez  “was  like da bomb and shit.” We’ll go see a movie you’re in if you play a mute or get run over during a police chase in the opening credits. Hang in there, bro; we’re sure you can still qualify for another scholarship, even though Hollywood clocks your net worth to be around $35 million from your debut album “Give Me a Dollar.” Next time try a professional acting school with an emphasis on English language.

His momma named him Common because he is so special.

So what else is ‘common’ in Hollywood?

Let’s move on to Hollywood’s whitetrash agenda. Trailer trash is becoming more common in mainstream cable television and music than ever. We call it the “Kid Rock Effect.” Slimy haired tattooed circus freaks with piercing and scooter trash tweaking on crystal meth is the Hollywood norm. The Jerry Springer Show has moved to the big screen.

 

Dreaming of a trailer park Christmas.

Shows like Breaking Bad, Kid Rock’s Pimpin’ Santa Claus Special, Pit Bulls and Stupid Sluts, Jackass, etc. etc. cater to drug addicts and retards by promoting the white trash lifestyle. 70’s porn movies have more plot than most of the shit on cable TV these days. Moreover 99% of the E! Channel, now most of AMC and parts of the History Channel are fit for the vomitorium. See jewels during prime time such as:

  • Jersey Shore
  • Big Fat Ass Nobodies Surrounded by 1000 Cats
  • I Married My Tumor
  • Transgender Meter Maids in High Heels
  • My Boss Corky
  • Worthless in Seattle, aka Pawn Shop, Phd.
  • Chop Shop Tattoo Parlor
  • Are You My Daddy?
  • Trailer Park Makeover
  • Prison Reunion and spin off Prison Day Care
  • Swapping Slobber with the Neighbors
  • Your Dog ate My Dog
  • etc., etc., etc.

Taking its subtle cues from Hollywood, the Nashville country music scene slowly started churning out some ruthless garbage to appeal to the Slingblade in all of us. It’s called The Dumbing Down of America, the Kid Rock Effect. They take worthless trailer trash and turn them into overnight sensations.

It starts by putting untalented hacks on the regular listening channels and feeding us cow flop on the radio. Half-witted music, such as everything John Anderson’s done in his retarded Louisiana drawl, maybe tongue-in-cheek to the rest of us, but there is genetic waste out there who actually want to hear a 3rd grade education best put to music.

These are the same people who take their kids to the Walmart and leave them in the car on a 100 degree summer day.

“Hey is this the kind of retard that drools and rubs shit in his hair and all that?”

Overnight in the early 1990’s, country music was turned into an inbred’s wet dream with the likes of Big n’ Rich, Cowboy Troy and Neal McCoy, along with a string of other strange looking creatures clinging like ringworms on the tail end of Garth Brooks’ insipid version of modern country. Too bad these guys weren’t there with their mikes hot when the Grand Ol’ Opry flooded.

 

big-rich_neal-motivate

 

Does it get any worse than just putrid stupid white fucking trash? How retarded does the incestuous genetic waste have to be to listen to the biological anomalies that is the majority of redneck music today?

Per the typical drunk before his liver fails, “I sho’ would like to partake in some libations ‘fo I scoot a boot…”

We at the Hollywood Walk of Shame don’t believe that the dumb asses out number the intelligent people. There are still great R&B and Country artists out there; however, very few should be allowed to make that leap to the silver screen.

Could you image a movie with Billy Ray Cyrus and Ludicris? It will be a cop buddy flick with Keith David playing their cigar smoking police chief and Larry the Cable Guy as the Health Inspector. Some asshole in Hollywood is probably writing the screenplay right now. It’s going to be called “How I Pimped Your Mother and Married My Cousin.” It will have everything: Yakuza, midgets, Johnny Knoxville, the big cross-eyed black dude who played Deebo in Friday as President of the Universe; Morgan Freeman will be cast as God; Billy Crystal playing the Tooth Fairy; and John Goodman reprising every role he’s been in.

God, according to Hollywood.

The bad guys will be played by Mark Strong as the mafioso from the future and James Cromwell as the evil corporate CEO of a corporatist corporation. Love interests will include Anne HathawayAlicia Keys and a cursing Betty White. With cameos of Vin Diesel and the pock-marked Mexican convict who plays the rapist a’ la Con Air. It’s really going to suck this summer at the theater…

  

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