Cattle Chips aka Tossin’ Biscuits 2017.
Thanks Hollywood, for making a movie with the absolute ugliest muthafukahs in the industry. What a genetic mishmash of complete failures, such as kidnapper look-a-like Michael “the Friendly Fruitpicker” Pena. Dax Shepard’s face looks like he was born in a motorcycle wreck. Smoking pot gives actors such a dynamic range minus birth defects. We actually broadcast this shit to other countries who want to cut our heads off.
First sign that a movie will suck is if it has the following in higher billing than Stagehand:
- Michael Pena.
- Any members of the SNL alumni.
- Any female cast as the lead action hero or playing a cop.
- Any male lead under 25 years old.
- Any child playing a computer hacker or possessed.
- Any movie with Ben Mendelsohn billed higher than bit part. Just another talentless buck-toothed junkie with zero range; more on this later.
- Anything with Seth Green or other midgets.
- Illiterates like Samuel L. Jackson, in fact if Sam Jackson is anywhere near the movie, the movie is automatically complete SHIT.
Absolutely no reason: Tarzan, Kong: Skull Island, Kingsman, Robocop, Star Wars: Revenge of the Shit, etc., etc.
Then there are fake Hollywood couples who can’t afford their fake public lifestyles, going through foreclosures as fast as deleted memes. It’s a bunch of horsehit.
If this is Hollywood Royalty, then there is something terminally wrong with our culture.
Thanks California for keeping vomit inducing Dax Shepard semi-employed with his phony itty-bitty-titty nothing of a wife in cameo. Sloppy asses and distorted faces make for good paparazzi fodder. Note Kristen Bell never took her gene donor’s married name in case of spontaneous miscarriage after realizing what she has done. She is the breadwinner, while her insignificant other’s shit doesn’t even make it to the bargain bin at General Dollar.
Welcome to the Family Circus.
Vincent Duh Uno Frio- uh Der- reprises his Gomer Pyle role in between licking Bill Clinton’s nutsacks.
Talk about a House of Lies.
Don’t point your shit at me, bitch! I’ll slap a bitch fo dat.
Some would say the Kentucky backwoods produced the most inbred retarded looking fuckers in the country… we beg to differ. California has the most fucked up looking creatures on the planet wandering the streets. Thanks to decades of Democrats, drugs, and welfare, the human genome has mutated to create anomalies like Dax Shepard. Something that takes itself as serious as this ugly ass is not a mistake. It is a Hollywood creation designed to turn everything to fucking shit.
Title holder of the world’s worst movies.
Who the fuck thinks this shit is funny or entertaining?
When you gonna have that abortion bitch?
Watch this shit.
Why didn’t you have the government-paid for abortions?
Let’s go pull over some drunk illegal aliens.
Oh Shits, it’s Michael Pena’s papi.