The Gay Lantern Cornhole Corp

Posted: June 2, 2012 in Uncategorized
Tags: , , , ,

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Reach for it fellas.

Words we will never hear:  “and the Oscar goes to Ryan Reynolds…”

“Let’s start shooting the Green Lantern sequel immediately…”

“Someone reach in there and get those limited edition copies of Green Lantern out of the dumpster…”

Hollywood fells the pressure building inside their surgically reduced colons to produce a gay comic book superhero. Instead of creating one from scratch they have decided to deliberately ruin a perfectly good All-American cartoon icon by switching underwear with the Green Lantern.

Hollywood has already screwed up the big screen version of the Green Pooper in the Adventures of an Asshole Named Hal Jordan, starring Ryan Reynolds. Now bowing to pressure from the Gay Hollywood Mafia, DC Comics has introduced a homosexual version of the Emerald Knight. He was gay all along, according to Justice League logs.

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Flame on!

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Marvel Comics recently married off one its minor superheroes in a gay X-Men edition. “Northstar” had been outted back in 1992 and fights against “bigotry.” He makes it official with his black boyfriend in Astonishing X-Men # 51.
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Following in Marvel’s footsteps, DC Comics announced their superhero coming out of the closet in a reboot design around a gay friendly alternate universe called “Earth 2.” Just how many gay people read superhero comics targeted at red-blooded pre-pubescent 12-year old boys? Think about what happens to the Green Lantern franchise of toys and collectibles. Who is going to be the Queer Lantern on Halloween? What is next? Superman gets AIDS? Daffy Duck gets a sex change? Turn the Hulk into a switch hitter?

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(courtesy Fox News)

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With this ring, I do wed Hollywood style.

We may never know whether or not Ryan Reynolds is gay or has his acting chops down well enough to play in the Green Lantern Sux Forever sequel. Perhaps there will be a proposal and homoerotic nuptials in the reboot? Along with some Broke Back Mountain action to slobber all over our popcorn?

It would be sad if it weren’t so darn funny to watch Hollywood in its final drugged out AIDS infested death throes. There is not one kid in America who will ever buy, rent, or see another Green Slattern piece of merchandise.

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Comments
  1. Uncle Dick says:

    Dude…..sounds to me like you’re a bit of a closet case. Seriously. Did daddy touch you under the covers when you were a wee lad?? You just need a nice, slow sloppy r*m j*b and a thick juicy c*ck pumping a gallon of j*zz down your throat. Yeah….that should help!

    • Mad Max says:

      Time out there fruit cake. This is what we’re talking about.
      And the reason why they won’t let you in the Boys Scouts. Nobody is anti-gay on this blog; we’re just sick of queers queering up perfectly good masculine hetero American icons. Come up with your own superhero there Captain Erection.
      See the Ambiguously Gay Duo for reference.

      • dave99999 says:

        Have you been checked for rabies? I realize you hate everyone instead of just gays but that doesn’t mean what you think it does.

  2. Anonymous says:

    Great article! This is the kind of information that are supposed to be shared around the
    internet. Disgrace on Google for not positioning this put up higher!

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