Posts Tagged ‘Deadpool’

The same confused and baffled puppy dog look in every movie.

Ryan Reynolds still has not taken those acting lessons to get those chops up a notch and out of the Dollar General bargain bin and par with something movie goers can actually sit through. Other than the God-awful Dead Pool, every movie this guy is in is a certifiable box office bomb. Despite the continuous bad acting, flop after flop keeps Reynolds on the late night talk show circuit and the Lionsgate payroll. Next he teams up with America’s second favorite negro in another forgettable waste of time, The Hitman’s Bodyguard.

Go the F*ck to Sleep.

In this latest Black-on-White romp, Sam “the MuthaFucka” Jackson piles on his signature ghetto babble, spitting and cursing through every line, while Reynolds narrates his over-rehearsed, rushed, and unbelievably scripted bullshit. Reynolds always sounds like he’s on a job interview at Star Bucks and about to piss his pants.

There is no one dumber, more annoying, or ubiquitous than this fucker.

We can’t really critique something we’ll never actually watch, so maybe there will be some Easter Eggs, cameos, and funny bloopers in the end credits. This is like the 20th movie this year for Samuel Jackson. By 2019, this crack head will be in every single movie and on every TV and cable channel, 24-7.

I’m everywhere, goddamit. I’m in your dreams and when you wake up.

What’s in your bowl, bitch?

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